Veronica  J.  Fabian  MSW, RSW

Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist

"  We  are  all  wounded  children

   walking  around  in  adult  bodies    

   having  tantrums,

   fearing  abandonment,

   seeking  validation.   Be  kind. "       @the.holistic.psychologist

Hello and welcome! 
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I am a bilingual (English & French) Psychotherapist and Registered Social Worker with 28 years of experience counselling individuals (age 16+), couples and families.

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I am passionate about helping people address their concerns and develop their authentic, unique selves. 

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It takes courage to step into therapy, which is why I aim to make every client feel safe, heard and supported, above all else.

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I have extensive professional training, nearly 3 decades of direct counselling experience and clinical supervision, and practical wisdom gained from continuously working through my own life challenges (often assisted by a seasoned therapist) to help with concerns related to:

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Abandonment 

ADHD 

Ageing 

Anger 

Anxiety

Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)

Codependency

Couple conflict

Depression

Divorce

Elderly parents

Emotional overwhelm

Family conflict

Fear

Grief

Highly Sensitive Personality traits

Infidelity

Insecurity

Loneliness

Low self-worth

Narcissistic personality traits

Parent-teen /older child conflict

Perfectionism

Procrastination

Rejection

Self-sabotage

Shame

Social Anxiety 

Trauma

COUNSELLING APPROACH

My approach to counselling / psychotherapy is client-centered, collaborative and supportive.

I select and apply techniques from evidence-based psychotherapy frameworks to accurately address your unique challenges, needs and goals.

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My therapeutic work is, above all else, rooted in my core belief in the worth of all people and their right to self-determination.

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Keep  scrolling  to  learn  about  some  of  the  counselling  and  theoretical  approaches  I  draw  from ...

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✤   Acceptance  and  Commitment Therapy  (ACT)

ACT is an action-oriented approach to psychotherapy stemming from traditional behaviour therapy and cognitive behaviour therapy.

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ACT  can  help  us:

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• Accept what is out of our control and commit instead to actions that enrich our lives.

• Stop avoiding, denying, and struggling with inner emotions.

• Accept issues and hardships, while committing to change behaviour.

• Learn not to overreact to unpleasant feelings.

• Listen to the way we talk to ourselves about traumatic events, problematic relationships, personal limitations, and other challenges.

• Accept our psychological experiences.

• Change our attitude and emotional state in a positive way.

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For more information about ACT:

 

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✤  Cognitive  Behaviour  Therapy  (CBT)

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is a well-established psychotherapy approach 

based on the idea that our core beliefs, attitudes and thoughts about ourselves, others and the world around us determine our feelings and behaviour.  We all begin to develop these beliefs/ideas in childhood as we interact with people and experience life.

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Left unchecked, our negative, unrealistic, inaccurate thoughts can cause us significant emotional distress, low self-worth, relationship problems and mental health challenges since we feel and react /behave based on how we think.

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Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can help us:

1.   learn  to  identify​

2.   question   

AND 

3.   change​

unhealthy, distorted patterns of thinking that underlie our difficulties. 

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CBT is structured, goal-oriented and practical.  Its strategies and skills, when practiced during and between sessions, can yield satisfying results.

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For more information about CBT:

  

Academy of Cognitive Therapy   

Association for Behavioral & Cognitive Therapies   

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✤ Emotionally  Focused  Therapy 

EFT is a short-term (8-20 sessions), structured approach to couples' and family therapy developed by psychologists Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Les Greenberg in the 1980's. 

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EFT is based on Attachment Theory, developed by British psychoanalyst John Bowlby (1907-1990) and expanded upon by American-Canadian developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth (1913-1999).  Bowlby and Ainsworth identified that children's early experiences with their parents (or primary caregivers) had a profound and lasting impact on their relationship skills as adults.

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Secure attachment begins in childhood when there is at least one emotionally available, empathic and nurturing parent (or primary caregiver) on a consistent basis.  When this isn't the case, however, a child becomes insecure, anxious and mistrustful and learns that he/she can't rely on others for help. 

Instead, he/she will, by default, develop damaging ways of coping with their sadness, hurt, fear and stress on their own:  usually by either shutting down or escalating in anger.  ➡️   These distorted coping habits will negatively impact their future love relationships and close friendships.

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Even as fully grown adults, any distress, conflict, distance or separation in our important relationships (partner, close relative or friend) is interpreted by our brains as danger /a threat to our security.  Losing our emotional connection to a loved one (as a child and as an adult) threatens our sense of security and triggers a primal fear of abandonment in the amygdala (the fear centre of our brain).

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Fight, flight or freeze.  When incoming information from our partner /loved one is positive, reassuring and familiar, our amygdala is calm.  However, when it perceives threatening or unfamiliar information, it increases our brain's anxiety level.  

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When our brain's anxiety level is elevated, we go into self-preservation mode:  often resorting to what we did to survive/cope in childhood when we felt afraid, anxious, panicked, sad, insecure, threatened, etc. and our parents (primary caregivers) weren't available (they were unable or unwilling) to comfort us and help us manage these frightening feelings.

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When we are triggered as adults in our romantic /close relationships, we tend to repeat unhealthy coping /self-protection patterns from our formative years. 

EFT can help change these counterproductive, automatic, ingrained reaction patterns that stress and sabotage our most important relationships.

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For more information about EFT:

International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)

For more Information about Attachment Theory:

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Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love. - A. Levine & R. Heller, 2010  (book)

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Attachment Styles test (free):   dianepooleheller.com

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✤     Psychodynamic  Therapy 

               (insight - oriented) 

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Psychodynamic Therapy focuses on the psychological roots of emotional suffering.  It's hallmarks are self-reflection, self-exploration and the use of the relationship between therapist and client as a window into problematic relationship patterns in the client's life.

The goal of Psychodynamic Therapy is to help us:

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• gain valuable insight into our lives and present-day problems

• identify unhealthy relationship patterns we've developed over time

• examine our emotional blind spots

• increase our self-awareness and self-understanding

• understand the influence of our childhood experiences on our present behaviour, choices, reasoning, mental health, personality, struggles and relationships

• uncover subconscious /repressed feelings, beliefs, assumptions, drives, desires, inner conflicts and needs that maintain patterns of emotional-psychological and relational distress.

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The theory supporting psychodynamic therapy originated in and is informed by psychoanalytic theory /Sigmund Freud (1858-1939) and his later followers.

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For more information about Psychodynamic Therapy & Theory:

The Canadian Association for Psychodynamic Therapy:   psychodynamiccanada.org

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