If you don't address
trauma, your romantic
" We are all wounded children walking around in adult bodies having tantrums, fearing abandonment, seeking validation. Be kind. "
-Dr. Nicole LePera @the.holistic. psychologist 🌿
Welcome! I am a bilingual (English & French) Psychotherapist and Registered Social Worker with 28 years of experience counselling individuals (age 18 +), couples and families.
I am passionate about helping people effectively address their concerns, become more of who they want to be and improve their relationships.
It takes courage to step into therapy which is why I aim, above all else, to make every individual feel safe, understood and supported.
Besides my university degrees (Honours Bachelor of Social Work & Honours Master of Social Work), I engage in continuous clinical training and supervision. I am also a regular consumer of research-driven psychology literature and have, myself, been on the receiving end of therapy many times throughout my life.
I can assist with concerns related to:
Anxiety & Fear
Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)
Highly Sensitive Personality (HSP)
Narcissistic personality traits
Parent & teen/adult child conflict
Unhealthy coping habits
Following are the 2 main evidence-based theoretical frameworks and clinical approaches which inform my practice.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is a well-established psychotherapy "treatment" approach based on the idea that how we think (cognition), how we feel (emotion) and how we act (behaviour) all interact together. Specifically, our thoughts determine our behaviour.
We begin to develop unhealthy, inaccurate core beliefs/ideas during childhood as we interact with people and experience life. Left unchecked, these negative thoughts/beliefs/interpretations can cause recurring emotional distress, low self-worth, chronic relationship difficulties and mental health challenges.
After all, we feel and react/behave based on how we think.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy skills can help:
unhealthy patterns of thinking and behaving.
CBT is structured, goal-oriented and practical. Its strategies and skills, when practiced during and between sessions, can yield satisfying results.
Academy of Cognitive Therapy
Association for Behavioural & Cognitive Therapies
🌿 🌿. 🌿
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a short-term (8-20 sessions), structured approach to couple and family therapy developed by psychologist Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980's.
EFT is based on Attachment Theory, developed by British psychoanalyst John Bowlby (1907-1990) and expanded upon by American-Canadian developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth (1913-1999). Bowlby and Ainsworth identified that children's early experiences with their parents (or primary caregivers) had a profound and lasting impact on their relationship skills as adults.
Secure attachment begins in childhood when there is at least one emotionally available, empathic and nurturing parent (or primary caregiver) on a consistent basis. When this isn't the case, however, a child becomes insecure, anxious and mistrustful and learns that he/she can't rely on others for help.
Instead, he/she will, by default, develop damaging ways of coping with their sadness, hurt, fear and stress on their own: usually by either shutting down or escalating in anger. ➡️ These distorted coping habits will negatively impact their future love relationships and friendships.
Even as fully grown adults, any distress, conflict, distance or separation in our important relationships (partner, relative, friend) is interpreted by our brains as danger/a threat to our security. Losing our emotional connection to a loved one (as a child and as an adult) threatens our sense of security and triggers a primal fear of abandonment in the amygdala (the fear centre of our brain).
Fight, flight or freeze. When incoming information from our partner/loved one is positive, reassuring and familiar, our amygdala is calm. However, when it perceives threatening or unfamiliar information, it increases our brain's anxiety level. When our brain's anxiety level is elevated, we go into self-preservation mode, often resorting to what we did to survive/cope in childhood when we felt afraid, anxious, panicked, sad, insecure, threatened, etc. and our parents/primary caregivers weren't available (were unable or unwilling) to comfort us and help us manage these frightening feelings.
When we are triggered as adults in our romantic/close relationships, we tend to repeat unhealthy coping/self-protection patterns from our formative years.
Emotionally Focused Therapy can help change counterproductive, automatic, ingrained reaction patterns that stress and sabotage ourselves and our most important relationships.
International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
Attachment Theory: simplypsychology.org
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love. - A. Levine & R. Heller, 2010
Attachment Styles test (free): dianepooleheller.com
Online sessions only,
until further notice.
In-person appointments will resume, pending COVID-19 developments.
Call, text or email for a FREE initial 15-minute phone consultation.
Veronica Fabian Counselling
1.5 km North of Hwy 401
Islington Ave. & Rexdale Blvd.
(416) 745 - 3878
Although my clients may offer to include their last name or first initial of their last name beneath their testimonial, I request they not do so because of my commitment to my profession's code of ethics re: client confidentiality.
" Ms. Fabian empowered me to take healthy risks in areas of my life where I felt stuck and depressed. Her unwavering belief in my inherent qualities and capability helped me come to see myself in a much more positive and accurate "light": all that I have to offer, what I'm truly capable of and what I deserve. Thanks to my sessions with her I'm less anxious, more self-aware and confident, all of which equipped me to finally leave my rat-race job, return to school, start a fulfilling new career and find love again! "
- Ameer, Brampton, Ontario Dec. 2020